top of page

To the Person Who Held Me as I Cried


I couldn’t feel my hands

They were as cold as the treatment

Wrapped around your legs

The one you promised

Would bring us closer together

By making your thighs farther apart

Inch by inch

I don’t know where you got that idea


It had the opposite effect

Made me question everything

Until all there was

Was doubt to question

Maybe that was the moment

The one where I wasn’t enough

Pouring myself into you

But you wanted to be so empty


Love cannot save something

That is not broken

But believes it is

She told me you would never leave me

I wanted her to shake me

Some earthquake to break free

The part of me that was

So stubbornly holding on

To the pieces of you

That were frozen away

Falling away like icicles

Chasing after the cracking lines of ice

Across some frozen lake

That shattered beneath me


It was like following

Lightning strikes

Trying to find a spark but

There were so many directions to run

I couldn’t find the right one

Some meaningless search

They all would have led eventually

To a place where the ice was too thin


I’d fall through

Believing that it must be for a reason

So I’d swim down

Until I ran out of breath


She held me as I drowned

Showed me kindness I did not recognize

Hadn’t seen it in years

I should have reminded her

She couldn’t save me, either

bottom of page