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To the Bottom of My Heart

4.28.2019

Is there a reason you can’t get excited

About the cute boy with the soft lips

Who treats you to dinner without expectation

Who is easy to talk to, I mean, the guy

Is a revelation

In today’s world he’s practically a saint

And yet here you are

Taking the evening off

 

What about him can you not beat faster for?

Did you sense something in him

That made you wary

And you were too afraid to tell me?

No, if you were afraid, I’d know it

You, you are detached

 

When did you hit it? Hm?

Inhale that sweet smoke

And let your eyes glaze over

When was it that you

Broke so much that

It was better to stop

Trying to pick up the pieces

And put them back in place

 

Broke so much that

It wasn’t worth the effort

To keep getting hurt

 

Broke so much that

You needed fear

To feel love

Needed a reminder of

What it was like to be

Hurt to feel cared for

 

Do you want me to grip

Your arms until they are bruised

Just to remember where

His fingers sank into you

  

Do you want me to

Hit your head against the wall

The way it used to wake you up

From the joy of a moment

The way it used to steal it

Is that what you need?

 

Because you are sitting across

From a cute boy who has been hurt too

And you can’t see past

The smoke and the glaze

To even recognize it

 

Sometimes I want to shake you

But I know that’ll just earthquake

Those pieces and you’ll

Have to pick them up again

Then again, maybe earthquakes

Are the only way I know how

To feel comfortable

In love

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